5/10/12

the stranger in the room is forever darkness, and only in its presence will you adorn me with the golden trinkets of your affection. with every pained swallow i am reminded of what you are and maybe, more importantly, what you are not. and when you cannot bare to look at me any longer will you understand my every frustration? will you know how i have felt all along? decorate me with your perspiration for here i lie forever indebted to your body. i have lost you to the sea of everything that exists outside of me and how could i ever stand up to such a grand entity? i have lost you to what i can never be. i should have confessed at the very beginning of such things that i would never come to be enough. i felt it in you as you felt your way through me and i was scared of my own honesty. scared of how you would leave. i did not understand what was inevitable; i could only fool myself into believing what was so richly manifested of my naivety. the mistakes were all mine and i will bury only myself for this. forgive me.